Bulletproof Weeks
by KeyLimePie14
Summary: "Don't you forget about me, DiNozzo." KatexTony. Post-"Twilight".


**This is my first NCIS fic. I just started watching the show and I've only made it through to season 4 so far, but I've already fallen in love with the characters. This is a Tate fic and I have no apologies for it. :D It's kind of a bittersweet one, set post-"Twilight", but I hope it's enjoyed nonetheless...**

"Bulletproof Weeks"

Life always knew how to throw you curveballs. You had come to the conclusion long ago that in a past life you must've pissed someone off royally. There wasn't really any other explanation for why your life always seemed to go the way it did.

You both skirted around any real feelings day after day. You'd never been much of a dancer, but God, with her it was like second nature. She always moved two steps ahead of you, but that was just part of the game.

One, two, step. Pause.

She never moved too far ahead, keeping you close enough to keep you moving along with her.

Now, you regretted how much you enjoyed the daily tug and pull with her. Flirting and joking was easy. It was something you knew how to do. Non-committal. Safe.

You scoffed at the thought. _Safe._ What did that get you? It hadn't worked for Kate. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw just how badly things had worked out for her.

All you would ever have are the memories of that dance. Those feelings that burned in your chest would never have another place to dwell. They were damned to be forever unrequited. You'd like to believe without a doubt that the feelings were equally returned.

And there were some instances that you felt confident they had been. Granted, she had always done a good job of keeping up the façade and keeping feelings private.

"…ashes to ashes, dust to dust, looking for that blessed hope when the Lord Himself…" You set your lips in a straight line, eyes never wavering from the black casket, already covered by red, white and blue. You knew, logically, that it only contained her body, but you still refused to let her out of your sight until she lay safe underground. After all, you'd already failed her so much in this life; it was the least you could do.

A strong hand came to rest on your shoulder, jolting you out of your thoughts. Your eyes never strayed from her, already knowing who the hand belonged to. "Boss," you murmured, acknowledging the presence of the man who was no stranger to loss. Despite never speaking of those losses, you knew of them because he held the sadness in his eyes.

He guided you toward the casket and you realized the service was over. As you walked toward the casket, Gibbs' hand never left your shoulder.

You, along with the others, placed a red rose atop the casket, silently bidding goodbye. Then you filed away, finally taking your eyes off of her. Though, no matter how difficult it was to admit, you wouldn't have been able to see her anyway due to the sudden mistiness of your eyes. You blinked hard, swallowing down the lump forming in your throat.

Abby, with her black parasol overhead, began a song of Jazz, causing a smile to break out onto your face. You liked to believe Kate was somewhere laughing, with that bell-like laugh, at Abby's way of mourning. You knew Kate would fully approve, knowing they would all grieve in their own way. She was always smart in that way.

It was nearly an hour later and everyone had gone to eat, reluctant to leave one another. You had insisted they go along without you. None of the others had protested, but the sympathy you saw reflected in their eyes, that look of pity they'd been looking at you with all week was shining through.

Abby, who had been uncharacteristically silent in the days previous, had hugged you tightly, kissed your cheek and assured you she was always there for you. You'd nodded, not quite trusting your voice. Then, you shook the hands of Ducky and Gibbs, feeling the strength in their grips. Even McGee's handshake held a certain kind of strength that you wouldn't have expected.

Then you were alone, watching McGee holding the car door open as Abby closed her parasol and slid in, waving at you. You waved back and nodded in McGee's direction as the car revved up and silently and solemnly made its way out of the cemetery.

Now, you sat atop the small knoll that overlooked the fresh burial site. You still found you couldn't take your eyes off of her, even though now she was safe. As safe as she'd ever be.

Ripping apart blades of grass mindlessly, you scoffed lightly at the realization that you had yet to cry. Was that a requirement of grieving? You aren't even sure that you cried all that much when you lost your mother. You never in a million years thought you'd cry over Kate Todd.

In fact, you'd felt a cocktail of different emotions in the past week – many of them truly terrifying, but they had yet to manifest themselves physically. It was also the first time you'd really been alone, as you'd opted to sleep at your desk, shower in the gym, instead of going home each night to your usually quiet apartment. You'd never felt lonely in your home but somehow you just knew that's what you'd go home to if you went.

The silence engulfed you as you closed your eyes and memories of late office nights with Kate floated through your head. Many times you'd shared Chinese food, her mocking (every time) your inability to use chopsticks. You vowed to learn how to use them no matter how difficult it proved to be.

Some nights you'd make up reasons to get her to stay late simply out of your reluctance to leave her presence. She never really seemed bothered by it, no matter if she did verbally complain. It was always accompanied by a disarming grin.

Those nights were your favorite. When it was just you and her, faces illuminated solely by your desk lamp as you both huddled around your desk together. She always let her guard down when no one else was around. The joking came easily, as usual, but when it was just you and her, the jabs were much more flirty and good-natured.

"I'll miss them too," that voice… It couldn't be. Slowly, you turned your head to the direction of that bell-like voice.

There, right beside you on that grassy knoll sat Kate, her legs spread out before her crossed at the ankles, as she leaned back on her hands. You blinked hard, your heart rate increasing as it began thudding in your ears. Surely, you were dreaming.

"Tony?" Her voice was soft, curious. You glanced at her again. What the hell was going on?

"Kate…" Your voice broke as you reached out your hand to touch.

She laughed, shaking her head, a somber look crossing her features. "Oh, Tony, you can't." Sadly, you dropped your hand onto the ground between you both.

"We ran out of time, huh?" She sounded sad, almost regretful.

You swallowed hard, hands balling into fists, "Did it hurt?" You weren't sure where the words came from, but you found yourself waiting for the answer.

She smiled softly, but didn't answer your question, "Don't you forget about me, DiNozzo."

"I won't," how could you ever forget about Caitlin Todd?

"Good," she stood up, "I'm watching you. Don't do anything you don't want me to know about." You could hear the laughter in her voice and you glanced up at her in time to catch a wink.

You laughed, feeling yourself falling back into that rhythm you thought you'd never have again, "I'll be sure to give you a show." You looked back up to return her wink, only to find that she was gone. "Kate?" You whipped your head around, finding you were still very much alone…

Except for an old man crouching down beside a very ornate gravestone barely 10 meters away, who was glancing at you with a disconcerted look.

 _Probably because you were talking to yourself…_ You sighed heavily, glancing back down at the fresh pile of dirt. _She was really gone._

"Tony?" You glanced up warily at the sound of your name again. A soft hand rested on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. "You okay?"

You sighed, "Sure, Abs."

Abby frowned, sitting down beside you. The exact spot where Kate had just been… Abby pulled her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs, "I miss her so much."

You nodded slowly, frowning, "Me too, Abs."

"She loved you, you know," Abby smiled sadly at you, her head cocking slightly to the side, "You loved her too, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. Who didn't?"

There was that sad smile again, but you noticed tears pricking the corner of Abby's eyes. You knew yours reflected the same back at her.

"I'm sorry, Tony," she sighed and reached for your hand, lacing your fingers together. She stood, pulling at your hand in an effort to make you rise with her, "C'mon, Tim is in the car. Let's go get ice cream. Kate's favorite – Mint chocolate chip."

You laughed, a real smile stretching across your cheeks, "Mixed with double chocolate chunk."

Abby cocked her head to the side in amusement, "You would know that," she winked at you and linked her arm through yours as you walked to the car together.

You glanced back at Kate's grave once more, as a breeze rustled the trees you were standing beneath. It blew your hair slightly and you swore you could hear Kate's laughter echoing through the leaves. She might have been gone in body, but you knew she'd always be with all of you in spirit and she lived in a special spot within your heart, a spot that would always be bulletproof. _Always._


End file.
